I'm on the phone and as usual Benji is asking very loudly for something. I hang up the phone in time to hear him say, "Give me my GLUE!"
I say, "No, Benji, you're not going to have that glue right now. What are you doing with that book and scissors?"

He tells me very matter-of-factly that he's going to cut up the craft he made yesterday and glue it onto one of the pages of the book.
"Oh no you're not!" I shout "and you're not playing with glue OR scissors right now."
"Give me my glue or I'll throw these!" he yells, menacingly holding up a handful of carrot sticks from lunch.

Forcing calmness, I say, "OK, go ahead and I'll spank you."
He must have thought I didn't hear him because he repeated his threat, waving the carrots over his head.
Calm again, I say, "Fine, throw them and then be ready for an awful surprise on your bottom!"
He pauses and then says, "OK, well you be ready for an awful surprise on YOUR bottom; I'll seriously spank it with one of these carrots!"

I could not hold in my laughter, and still laughing put him into time out where his last words were, "OK then, I'll just sit here and eat this" shoving the remaining carrot stick into my face.

I love you, Benji! You sure keep me on my toes!