Sea Creatures

If we could see fear, I'd imagine it would look something like an octopus. My octopus rides on my neck with many of it's tentacles over my eyes to block out the truth, and some of it's tentacles on my head to edit my imagination.

I've struggled with the fear octopus for many years. It grew more tentacles and became more difficult to pry off when I had children. I've recently addressed the issue to a group of moms and received several confessions in return by women who had their own octopuses.

It seems to me that the caretakers of life are the ones who are most vulnerable to this sea-creature of the mind. For me, the fear results from my seeming need to control the environment around my children and husband. It is my instinct as a mother and indeed sometimes vital to orchestrate the details of their daily routine.

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required" Luke 12:48. We, who have been given the amazing, enormous task of nurturing life, will be required to then turn it over, completely, no strings attached, to the Creator of that life.

I don't know about you, but I'm afraid to let go! It's not natural, it hurts, and I always imagine the worst. Well, it's not ME imagining that stuff, it's my octopus blocking my vision from the truth that my Creator is sovereign. It's my octopus editing my imagination to see Alec getting beat up on the playground instead of Alec befriending the bully. To see Marvin in his newly-wrecked car on the side of the road instead of him walking in the door to kiss me after work.

If we could see our Creator in this context, I imagine He'd look something like the Coast Guard, coming at our octopus, striking it down and freeing our hearts and minds. There is liberty in letting go, freedom in "falling into trust" with our Saviour.

I let go today. I sent Alec off with clean clothes, clean hair, and a smile on his face to a unique adventure. A rare opportunity to see "behind the scenes" at an air force base, and afterwards to a production by the local children's theater. He went with his best friends, their Papa and Jesus. Not with me. I can't wait to hear how much fun he had.