Model Behavior

At our house, we strive for the big F.T.O. (first time obedience).

When Alec was born, we were determined to enforce it from the beginning. As soon as we felt his comprehension was up to par, if he didn't stop when we said stop or come when we said come, there would be a consequence. When Benji was born, we went a little soft because of his health issues (his story coming in a couple weeks on his birthday), but still enforced what we could. Now that Ava's two and sometimes very obstinate, we're revisiting our F.T.O. rules and expectations.

This ran through my mind the other day as I was asking Alec for the third time to put on his shoes:

We believe that we are to model the behavior and attitudes that we wish our children to display. That having been said, here's a scenario: I'm folding a pile of laundry. Alec calls to me, "Mom! Can you help me with this Lego?" I say, "Just a minute honey, let me finish folding these clothes and then I'll be there."
Scenario number two: We're getting ready to leave for school. I say, "Alec, please get your shoes and coat on." Two minutes later, I look over and he's playing with a toy, not doing what I asked.

On one hand, if we are to model behavior for our children, I should immediately stop folding laundry and rush to Alec's side, to demonstrate F.T.O. On the other hand, Alec needs to learn to be patient, be independent, and to realize that I'm not his servant, at his beck and call. It's a tough call!

I recently asked a wise friend what her opinion was and she shared this with me: At her house, she thinks before she asks. Meaning that if she needs her son to put away laundry but he's playing in his room, instead of saying, "Jerod, come and put your laundry away!", she says, "Hey Jerod! When you get a minute, could you put your laundry away?" Or, "Jerod, I need you to put your laundry away by six o'clock." So, she still requires F.T.O., but it's within a designated time frame, not necessarily immediate.

We certainly don't want our children to be robots or servants, but at the same time, they must learn that obeying, honoring and respecting their earthly parents is one of the highest commands of our heavenly father. Among the many examples: Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

So, obedience is kind of a big deal around here! How do you enforce it at your house?