Just now...

I sent Alec down to the corner alone

to meet my friend

so he could play with her boys

I watched him as he shuffled through the snow, 

a dark shape with arms and legs,

slowly turning grey in the swirling white

Every house he passed, he turned to look at me

for reassurance

Before he left, he told me that he was scared

I told him that he'd be fine

it was no big deal

he'd be able to see me the whole way

and

I'd be able to see him

Halfway down the block, he turned and ran back to me, 

his arms windmilling frantically

as he tried to propel himself faster down the untraveled sidewalk

When he got close enough to hear me I told him to 

turn around 

We looked together and saw my friend at the end of the sidewalk,

a blurry shadow in the tunnel of white,

waving both arms

"Run to her, sweetie!"

I said.

"RUN to her, she's waiting for you!"

A moment's hesitation

and

then he went

I stood still 

watching him blur into grey again

as he ran

Just before he got to the end, another shadowy figure emerged with a snow shovel

I could feel Alec's heart beating faster and his adrenaline pumping

as he made a choice

Split second

He looked at me again

and kept on running

toward the corner

"Call to him!"

I whispered to my friend

"Give him boldness!"

my heart whispered to Jesus

I did not feel sad when he and my friend turned to wave to me as they left

No longing for a little boy

no longing for big eyes turned up to mine in childish wonder

no longing for a tiny hand to hold

I rejoiced in the breaking of bonds

and

rejoiced in the strength we both found