Just now...

I sent Alec down to the corner alone
to meet my friend
so he could play with her boys

I watched him as he shuffled through the snow, 
a dark shape with arms and legs,
slowly turning grey in the swirling white

Every house he passed, he turned to look at me
for reassurance

Before he left, he told me that he was scared

I told him that he'd be fine
it was no big deal
he'd be able to see me the whole way
I'd be able to see him

Halfway down the block, he turned and ran back to me, 
his arms windmilling frantically
as he tried to propel himself faster down the untraveled sidewalk

When he got close enough to hear me I told him to 
turn around 

We looked together and saw my friend at the end of the sidewalk,
a blurry shadow in the tunnel of white,
waving both arms

"Run to her, sweetie!"
I said.
"RUN to her, she's waiting for you!"

A moment's hesitation
then he went

I stood still 
watching him blur into grey again
as he ran

Just before he got to the end, another shadowy figure emerged with a snow shovel

I could feel Alec's heart beating faster and his adrenaline pumping
as he made a choice

Split second

He looked at me again
and kept on running
toward the corner

"Call to him!"
I whispered to my friend
"Give him boldness!"
my heart whispered to Jesus

I did not feel sad when he and my friend turned to wave to me as they left

No longing for a little boy
no longing for big eyes turned up to mine in childish wonder
no longing for a tiny hand to hold

I rejoiced in the breaking of bonds
rejoiced in the strength we both found

4 readers took time to leave a thought:

Megan February 15, 2010 at 9:45 PM  

Ohhhhhh Shelly....

Beautiful words from a beautiful woman. Praising God for your little boy...and the wonder of raising children.

Tarrah February 16, 2010 at 7:57 AM  

Beautiful Shelly! It must be so difficult to get to that point but so exciting at the same time. It is a wonderful journey being a parent :)

Muthering Heights February 16, 2010 at 8:45 PM  

What a sweet moment!!!

Will and Olivia February 17, 2010 at 12:02 PM  

beautiful. way to go brave soul.

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