See you soon...

It's official...the house is empty...and so is a corner of my life...

I wrote this on the morning she left:

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Having the one person who completely understands what you’re going through be the one who is putting you through it is hell.

Trying to be strong to support her because she has more than she can bear, but needing to let emotions run wild

Strength and weakness forced together like oil and water

This doesn’t even seem real, it’s like we’ve just helped them do some really big project…except the project ends in destruction instead of creation

The ripping of strong bonds is excruciating, bidding farewell forever to the beautiful status quo is devastating

The way her house will look when she leaves is the way my heart will feel inside…I will wander through the empty rooms once occupied by children’s laughter and sisterhood and pick up the scraps and bits left on the floor, vainly trying to make it feel like home again.

She is leaving. Today. Permanently. Things will never be the same. We will try to make a new relationship across the miles, it might be stronger, it might be better, but it won’t be easy and I don’t want to have to do it.

Our younger kids won’t care but we will have to be there for our oldest two.  Old enough to grieve, they will need something that I’m not sure we can give them. I just hope they’re old enough to understand and old enough to keep trying like we will.

May can’t come soon enough.

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We made the most of their time here,
in between packing and crying, we squeezed in
a birthday party...

one last trip to Chick-Fil-A,
where we TRIED to squash all nine of them on a teeny tiny bench
for a picture

some quality time with Ava's dress up accessories

napping here
while mommy and daddy packed
over there
{and yes, that's Nolia with marker all over her face...I'm quite an attentive babysitter!}

a few last cozy moments for these two

lunch time
again
and
again
and
again

and

fun for the little ones in the big, empty house

They've left behind
empty closets

and memories

but are headed for a life filled with
laughter
love
and
new adventure

I miss you...can't wait for our trip!