just talking again...

i feel flat, uncertain, lonely

desperately wanting to feel something other than this

caught up in the tumble crash of stress and work

too much noise prevents me from hearing my Jesus

all i hear now are things i don't want to,

telling me

i'm not good at teaching my kids

i'm not doing enough for them, spending enough time with them

i'm not working hard enough or fast enough- look at all the things piling up that need my immediate attention

i had such peace after my tiny babe went to be with Jesus

peace like a river washing over me

words of encouragement about freedom from my mind as a battleground

uplifting prayer for my heart

now something's changed

I've lost focus, 

trying to see but the view is cloudy, distorted

i feel alone

there is no one to share this

everyone around me is caught up in their own busyness

Jesus is the only one and He is enough

but right now i can't hear Him because my life is too noisy

not sure what to do to pull the plug

i have to cook, clean, teach, minister grace and care to my family

take the kids to their activities that they love

tend to my husband's needs

be a friend, a listening ear and compassionate shoulder

stopping {life} would be self-serving

not accomplishing the goal

the noise would rise instead of diminish

something has to change inside of me

the tears need to come and wash away the clutter in my mind and heart

i need to be still and know

that i am where i need to be

and that Jesus is enough.

some of us

are resting today...

the rest of us are 

painting, 

painting, painting

fingers stiff

caked with grey

eyes bleary from seeing the same color for hours

mind churning with ideas

can't wait to be finished

Wordless Wednesday

{one of the reasons i do what i do}

Wordless Wednesday

{time out}

after all the hurry hurry of the weekend, we desperately needed a whole family {time out}

we peeled ourselves away from the painting on Sunday night
and took a drive to one of our favorite local parks

dinner cost $16 for the 5 of us and was easy clean up off of the picnic table

the kids were happy

{really} happy!

we took a walk to the water's edge

saw tiny beauty on the way

and amused ourselves till the sunset came

this is the best sort of {time out} possible, right?

don't you forget to take a {time out} this week with your little ones...

Keeping them busy...

We used to do home improvement projects in shifts...one of us would mind the baby, one of us would paint, sand, etc.

This is the first time we've done a project that didn't have to be stealthily completed during naptime or worked on solo while the other parent pulled baby duty.

It's kind of nice!

We do, however, still need to make sure the kids are occupied with something CONSTRUCTIVE, otherwise we're liable to find missing kitchen utensils and an empty box of baking soda on the front porch.

Last week we tried to work on the room just an hour per night, and this was our activity of choice for the kids.

They didn't mind one bit. 

In fact, sadly, we have actually never had them experience the joys of shaving cream on a table at all! 

Not sure why, except...

when we went to clean them up, we realized exactly how messy it could be!  

They all smelled like an adolescent out to woo some ladies, their fingers were pruny...

I wondered if we should ever eat cookies baked on these trays again and...

some of the finish was completely worn off the table! 

Yikes!

Over all, a fun time was had, and our table is really none the worse for wear.  

The room is coming along nicely, but at a snail's pace...this is a very busy time of year for us and we normally do NOT take on a project in the fall. 

We're at the painting stage now, whew! so all should go smoothly from here on out...

more pictures of it this week {hopefully!}

!! progress !!

This beauty's getting a makeover, Shelly-style!

Awesome wooden "locker" cabinet that we found for only $45 at an antique shop last weekend

Being scraped...I love orange, but this was a bit much!

(I'll store my upstairs sheets and towels in it, this old house has absolutely NO storage)

Re-purposed porch railing from a flea market

as our new upstairs banister...

NOT looking forward to painting this one!

...sneak peek

it's late but...

I just wanted to talk...

We're still working on that room upstairs. Marvin gets home so late every night now, this project has been quite a bit different from our other remodels. I now know the true meaning of "weekend warrior"! It's so frustrating to walk up there every day and see NOTHING happening. And then in the few precious hours we have on Saturday and Sunday progress just c.r.a.w.l.s along because there's weekend life to attend to.

This morning Marvin had to work for a couple hours, so we did a bit of schooling, I did a lot of laundry, babysat a couple kids for a couple hours, made some food, made a whole lot of bread and did a whole lot of other Saturday-ish things. Once again, the day was two-thirds over and NOTHING happened upstairs.

(In his defense, I will say that Marvin was outside in the garage and at the hardware store working on the new banister that we need to install at the top of the stairs.)

Finally, I dragged myself away from life and headed outside to pick apart a vintage chair and get it ready for it's makeover. Alec and Ava assisted me with sandpaper and pliers and we made a nice bit of progress. By the time it was ready for paint, it was too cold and dark outside so we'll have to wait till tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just finished watching Confessions of a Shopaholic on Netflix. Funny movie! Marvin was asleep. Otherwise I would have never watched it, it would have made him gag. Once in a while everyone needs a sugary girl movie, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I loaned three maternity t shirts to a friend this afternoon and when I handed them over I cried. See, we had gotten pregnant at the same time and were all excited to have our babies together so we went shopping for maternity clothes together when we both started showing. (which was early for me since it was my fourth, and early for her since she's having twins!) But, since I don't need the shirts right now, and she really does, I loaned them. I thought I was over the miscarriage mostly, past the crying part, you know? But...as I handed her the bag, I blurted out, "I know this is unreasonable of me, but could you not wear those shirts when you're around me? It would just be too hard for me to see them on someone who is pregnant that is not me." and burst into tears. Awkward. For both of us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a really great time with the kids tonight at dinner. Hee-hee, yeah, I"m sure you're thinking what?  Marvin was sleeping off a headache in bed, and for some reason, I just sat at the table with them long after we had finished and we were all giggling clowns for about half an hour.  Singing songs, making faces, fake burping, pretending to spill stuff...it was hilarious. And silly. And fun. And we should do it more often. Usually they eat while I clean up and there is no hilarity. But tonight I sang them songs and they listened and laughed. It was much more fun than cleaning up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now, I have nine tabs open in my browser. Five of them are File Folder games that I want to print. One of them is the address and phone number of the place I need to take my sewing machine for repairs. One is my email. One is a photo blog that I stumbled across and I'm not quite ready to be finished soaking in their beautiful images and dreaming of expensive lenses while I drool. And the last one is Blogger.  I"m obsessed with tabs. For some reason, bookmarking isn't enough for me. I somehow feel that if I close a tab it's gone forever. Sometimes I really have to just take a deep breath and clear them because I have so many up that they're small and the funny scroll sideways arrow comes up and our computer starts freaking out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I haven't sewed in a while and I miss it. I screwed up my bobbin case doing all that shirring with elastic thread and now when I sew my tension is totally funky and every seam looks like a toddler did it by hand. Not good. I had to close my shop and I can't even work on my rag quilt or make my new curtains with my new fabulous fabric from IKEA. You'd think that getting it fixed would be a priority, yet there it sits forlornly with it's light off. Why do I always put off the important stuff? I'll call Monday. Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, I"m all talked out...callin' it a night...au revoir!

peace like a river...

Yes, I know this is my second post containing "peace" in the past month, but I've really felt so much of "the peace that passes understanding" that I just can't help it! God is so real and near to me right now, and I'm so blessed and full of JOY to be in His presence...


Monday, September 20th, was our 13th wedding anniversary. It was very timely for hubby and I to get away for a minute by ourselves, considering the events of the past several months. I remembered my camera this time (last year I forgot it and just about shot myself because we stayed in a CASTLE!!) and thought I'd share...

We stayed in a small, no frills (well, except for a hot tub on a private deck overlooking the woods!) A-frame cabin about two hours south of us. We used to go hiking in that area every weekend when we were dating and engaged, and Marvin proposed to me on one of the trails there on Christmas Eve!

We hiked that trail...after climbing all these steps...

and I had forgotten how *hard* it was! We counted on the way up...98 thigh burnin' risers!

Here's my makeup-free, weekend-clothes self,
not too excited about climbing the SECOND set of stairs!

The view from the top was worth it...

and we hiked on for a while, enjoying the beauty in the details...

After such a peaceful start to our day, imagine our surprise
when we suddenly came upon *this* on the side of the trail!

While Marvin investigated a nearby dried up waterfall,
I experimented with various camera angles to make the remains look extra gruesome
to show the boys...

It was a deer carcass that had been industriously picked clean by all manner of woodland creatures
and was lying, in it's natural, undisturbed (as far as we could tell) state on a flat rock just off the trail...
a dinner table for the scavengers!

We tore ourselves away from the fascination of nature in action after a while,
and enjoyed a few last glimpses of creation...

We spent the rest of our time combing the local antique shops
and pigging out on sugary snacks and cheap Mexican food.

The kids enjoyed a brief stint at Grandma's house before spending the night at Nana and Papa's.

After we picked them up, Ava informed me that Nana had taken them to Salad River and fed Benji a baked pillow for breakfast!

And I thought we had a great time!

giddyap! {there's really no point to this post}

We love us some horses here in this town! 

Each year we all line the streets for an hour-long parade of the state's finest equestrian blood. 

This was the weekend for it.

Saturday we spent in front of the college football game and eating cake for my sister in law's birthday and Sunday we spent at church, up in our junk room, at this parade, 

and at the kitchen table for dinner with friends.

It was a great weekend, full of beautiful weather, good food, and extreme productivity! 

Yesss!!!

That room upstairs is nearly empty and I'm faced with the exciting? challenge of incorporating that deer head and two birds into my quirky, whimsical, IKEA-inspired playroom design...Yikes!

This week I hope to decide on paint, order fabric, and come up with a plan for those animals...I"m thinking painting the sky on a wall and hanging the birds on it? Hmmm...it can't be too serious...but not too funny or my dear husband that shot them will be quite dismayed.

I'm also faced this week with a decision to make about attending this semester of our homeschool choir~ we don't do well with an overload of structured activities, and our full day of classes at the homeschool co-op seems like it's enough. I"m torn, though, because choir is fantastic, and our teacher is even more fantastic and it's so good for the boys...

Oh, I did forget to mention that on Sunday we also hauled one of our area rugs out to the backyard, put it on a piece of plastic over a piece of plywood, and I cleaned it with our carpet shampooer.

That was some fantastic people-watching for our perpetually out-of-doors neighbors, I'm sure!

I struggled with that stupid, leaky behemoth for nearly two hours...leaves and bugs falling on the rug, dirty water puddling everywhere, wet carpet slipping on wet plastic...

The carpet was cleaner, but much wetter than it should have been and VERY heavy!

We clumsily dragged it to the back of the yard and heaved it over a couple sawhorses to dry only to have the sawhorses collapse...

After baking in the sun for about 5 hours, it's not as clean as I'd like it to be, but at least there's no question that the dog fur and fleas are totally gone!

And finally, I got my long-awaited steam mop a couple days ago! Yipee! Come and enjoy a meal on my kitchen floor sometime! This baby heats up to over 200 degrees, hot enough to sanitize even the dirtiest, pee-encrusted bathroom floor...AND you can clip on any dishtowel, etc. if the two included mop pads are in the wash...NICE!

Now I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite vintage children's stories, 

The Gingham Dog and The Calico Cat (Eugene Field)

The gingham dog and the calico cat
Side by side on the table sat;
'T was half-past twelve, and (what do you think!)
Nor one nor t' other had slept a wink!
The old Dutch clock and the Chinese plate
Appeared to know as sure as fate
There was going to be a terrible spat.
(I wasn't there; I simply state
What was told to me by the Chinese plate!)

 

{Something about this story reminds me of my children tattling on each other...}