if anyone else feels this way...
At the end of the day I'm usually exhausted (except for right now, it's nearly 11pm and I'm still up blogging!) If I've managed to cook dinner, and sit down to eat it with my family, the tiredness hits me full on. I suddenly feel like I have cement blocks in the back pockets of my jeans keeping me in my chair (or maybe that was the brownie I snacked on earlier! Ha!)
After the plates are emptied and bellies filled, everyone runs off to play. Husband on the computer, kids upstairs with toys. Then there I sit. At a crumb covered table staring at dirty dishes and the remains of a hurriedly cooked meal. Sometimes they remember to take their plate to the sink, and sometimes I remember to call them back to do it.
Most of the time, though, I just sit there in a daze, those cement blocks getting heavier and heavier, along with my eyelids. When I finally pry myself off of the chair and stagger over to the sink, I realize that I'm completely and utterly alone. For the first time. All day.
At first I"m elated. Ya-hoo! Me time, finally. Then I realize, Hey! Wait a minute, I"m alone! I cooked and cleaned all day and fed them a million times and now I'm alone and they're off having a good time!
Then the fight in my head begins:
Dang it, I want help!
But they're playing so nicely I"ll leave them alone.
No, they really should come back and bring their plates to the sink.
Wait, where's Marvin?
Do I hear the TV on?
WHAAAT? Is he just lounging on the couch watching TV while I slave away here in the kitchen?
Didn't he eat the food I cooked? What gives him the right to not help?
But... he's probably tired...he has been at work all day...
I shouldn't say anything, I don't want to be the nagging wife
but Dang it! I want help!
If I don't speak up I'll just be the victim and bitterness will take root
But wait, I should be grateful that he even has a job and that I even have a kitchen to cook in and food to cook in it and a sink to wash those dishes in, I could be washing dishes in the Nile,
for heaven's sake!
So...I end up doing the dishes and clean up alone, trying really hard to be thankful, but still fuming inside about this domestic injustice that I"m forced to undergo
Has anyone else been there done that?
How do you cope?