just {wondering}...

if anyone else feels this way...

At the end of the day I'm usually exhausted (except for right now, it's nearly 11pm and I'm still up blogging!) If I've managed to cook dinner, and sit down to eat it with my family, the tiredness hits me full on. I suddenly feel like I have cement blocks in the back pockets of my jeans keeping me in my chair (or maybe that was the brownie I snacked on earlier! Ha!)

After the plates are emptied and bellies filled, everyone runs off to play. Husband on the computer, kids upstairs with toys. Then there I sit. At a crumb covered table staring at dirty dishes and the remains of a hurriedly cooked meal. Sometimes they remember to take their plate to the sink, and sometimes I remember to call them back to do it.

Most of the time, though, I just sit there in a daze, those cement blocks getting heavier and heavier, along with my eyelids. When I finally pry myself off of the chair and stagger over to the sink, I realize that I'm completely and utterly alone. For the first time. All day.

At first I"m elated. Ya-hoo! Me time, finally. Then I realize, Hey! Wait a minute, I"m alone! I cooked and cleaned all day and fed them a million times and now I'm alone and they're off having a good time!

Then the fight in my head begins:

Dang it, I want help!
 But they're playing so nicely I"ll leave them alone.
No, they really should come back and bring their plates to the sink.
Wait, where's Marvin?
Do I hear the TV on?
WHAAAT? Is he just lounging on the couch watching TV while I slave away here in the kitchen?
Didn't he eat the food I cooked? What gives him the right to not help?
But... he's probably tired...he has been at work all day...
I shouldn't say anything, I don't want to be the nagging wife
but Dang it! I want help!
If I don't speak up I'll just be the victim and bitterness will take root
 But wait, I should be grateful that he even has a job and that I even have a kitchen to cook in and food to cook in it and a sink to wash those dishes in, I could be washing dishes in the Nile, 
for heaven's sake!

 So...I end up doing the dishes and clean up alone, trying really hard to be thankful, but still fuming inside about this domestic injustice that I"m forced to undergo

Has anyone else been there done that?
How do you cope?

5 readers took time to leave a thought:

Shari January 27, 2011 at 12:14 AM  

Shelly: I feel like that ALL the time! I have three children as well, just all boys and mine are a tad older. I fight with myself in my head and can't get those thoughts out sometimes. I just deal with, move on and wait for it to happen all over again.

Holly January 27, 2011 at 8:21 AM  

My husband doesn't get home from work till midnight each night so I am always on my own. Granted, I just have one 2 year old at the moment, but I work full time & being a "single mom" every night I find myself completely exhausted every evening. If I sit down after I put him to bed I would never get anything done so I have to literally push myself some night's. It's hard but the reward is worth it. :)

Anonymous January 27, 2011 at 9:30 AM  

Early in my marriage I started telling my husband all of my needs. (Not in a whiny, naggy way.) He was so happy to finally know what he could DO. (Men are action people!)In your case I would probably say:

I really miss you all day - can you hang around the kitchen and chat with me while I tidy up? (He will come and chat and pitch in and then it is your couple time.)
Then I would say; "THank you for helping me out - let's watch TV or play scrabble - I loved that you helped and now I am done faster and we can hang out.

Christine January 28, 2011 at 6:10 PM  

I think we all feel that way sometimes- it's that sinful nature creeping in. I get really tired by that time of night too and sometimes the mindless task of dishes is actually soothing instead of frustrating. I know at that point, though, that my time is coming! The kids are all in bed by 8:30. :)

Jodi February 2, 2011 at 1:41 PM  

Been there!!!!! Often there!!!!

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