Today...

Today it's beautiful

finally spring here

close to 70

kids muddy and gleeful

windows open, sun streaming in

 

I thought I'd be holding my babe by now

I am, but not in my arms!

 

I got asked the other day if I was having twins

and people keep asking me about being "overdue"

as if this is a loaf of bread burning in the oven

 

I'm 40 weeks and 6 days today

not considered "overdue" till I hit 42 weeks

but still anxious about having another induction

 

In the meantime, catching up on some life from the past months...

 

 

This was a very special day for me...

I was 29 weeks along

I sent the kids to Nana and Papa's for the day so I could

re-arrange Ava's bedroom to make space for the crib

and other baby stuff

I was so emotional that day while I moved Ava's special things out of her room

Behind me in the picture is her dress up and toy corner

all her little treasures in bins

all the things that are uniquely hers

Moved out 

to make room for the sibling

that will make her no longer the baby

No longer my littlest one

When the ending of one thing is

the beginning of another

no matter how sweet

no matter how sacred

it's hard

I had tears that day

a swirled cocktail of emotion

pink and blue

sweet and sour

I wanted to remember how happy I was

to finally be momma again

after loss and heartache

and

to remember how sacred my daughter's little space is

and 

how sacred her beautiful heart is to me

She cried for a while when we talked about how we'd have to move her stuff

but

when she came home that day there was nothing but delight on her face

at the new arrangement out in the toy room

Someday you'll read this, Ava Grace, and I want you to know

that no matter how many more blessings Jesus brings us

you will always be my first daughter

precious to me in every way

the delight of my heart

I love you so much, baby girl!