Ever tried {interval training} at the gym for weight loss? Ha! Here's my home-gym version ::
A bit of back-story::
Yesterday as I was dressing the three kiddos for our trick or treat festivities, Ava was a bit over-excited. I was bending over her putting on her tights and she was jumping up in the air. Since she apparently finds no value yet in obeying me the first time I ask (we're working on that), she jumped one more time, REALLY high.
Right.
Into.
My.
Nose.
I'm not a wuss when it comes to child-inflicted injuries, but this time I actually wept so loudly that Marvin came running with an ice pack and some Tylenol.
Also yesterday, we realized that overnight Ava and Benji had wet their beds, AND Benji's bed somehow didn't end up with a "piddle pad" on it, so his mattress was S.O.A.K.E.D. I attempted to use our carpet cleaner's upholstery attachment to shampoo the mattress, and ended up also using every towel we had to soak up the water that leaked out of it's canister onto the carpet.
In spite of all, yesterday ended up being a beautiful day.
OK, back to my home-gym training excercises...
The first thing I heard this morning was Marvin whispering, "Hon, hon! Get up, it's 7:30! I'm so sorry, I was trying to be so quiet and I forgot to wake you up at 6:30 like you asked! I'm so sorry!"
Nice.
I'm not a morning person and this does not make me happy to be faced with the knowledge that I"ll be one hour behind for the rest of the day.
I pretend to be cheerful as I haul myself out of bed and suddenly remember that nearly every towel, comforter, pillow and sheet we have plus a weekend full of dirty clothing was waiting for me in my own personal wet leaf and urine-scented Laundry Hell.
As I contemplate my strategy, my allergies attack and I blow my nose wondering why it hurts so much. I groan as I remember the jumping and the tights and the disobedience.
I find my work out clothes, determined to exercise at all costs. Blow my nose again, and it starts to throb. Before stepping on the treadmill, I continue with my morning routine of re-booting the laundry and folding what comes out of the dryer. Just as I finish and glance at the treadmill, Marvin says, "Hey, can you fix my hair real quick?"
I fix it and think about the treadmill some more as I wash my hands. I hear, "Hey, can you wash out that new mug for me before you get on?" Since it's a mug that I've gotten for
review and I don't want to stand in the way of it's first test run, I head out to the kitchen. On the way,
I blow my nose for the third time and idly wonder if Ava actually broke it. I reach the sink and discover that the dish soap bottle is newly emptied, thanks to Ava and her penchant for VERY soapy water when she plays in the sink.
Refill soap.
Wash mug.
Kiss hubby goodbye.
Think murderous thoughts about any child who dares to wake up and come downstairs right now.
R.U.N. to the treadmill and leap on.
My foot hits the belt, I touch my iPod, and I hear some alarming thumping coming from the direction of the stairs. It's Ava, who has woken up decided to bring Huge Baby (a newborn sized doll that used to be mine) and Alec's huge Dumbo down the stairs. The thumping was Huge Baby's head bouncing off each step and hitting the wall as Ava dragged her down by the foot.
After quelling a temper tantrum regarding the color of "juice" in Huge Baby's bottle, I settle Ava and Friends in front of a DVR'd episode of Dora and head very swiftly back to the treadmill.
I did my warm up plus 10 min of power walking and jumped off to restart the Dora episode so I could jog my newly-accomplished mile {uninterrupted}. Ha!
I jump back on and jog for 1 1/2 songs, heading happily towards my time goal of 23:20 min. At 18:45 minutes, Benji appears. I reluctantly pause the treadmill and my music, mumbling "this had BETTER be good!" under my breath and say sweetly, "Good morning honey! What do you need?" "Can I have a brownie, Mommy?" he says, with his cherub grin widening.
Trying to remain peaceful, I grit my teeth and say in a harsh loving voice, "No, honey. No sweets today, you had all that candy yesterday and you're trying to get over that cold." To my utter shock, Benji grinned again, nodded, and disappeared into the living room. I push away thoughts of conspiracy on his part, and punch the START button again.
My sore nose starts to drip again, and as I'm jogging, I gingerly use the hem of my T shirt to wipe it...Heck NO I'm not gettin' off to get a tissue!!!
At 20:34 minutes, Ava reappears with a petulant look on her face. I pause the treadmill again, with much less calm and try to ignore the nausea that suddenly takes up residence in my empty belly. After about 2 minutes of reassuring Ava that Dora and Diego will come back after the Danimals commercials, she retreats, leaving me with my last 3 minutes of jogging.
As I finish, my nose and head start to throb with each step. Resignedly, I cut my workout short, but only after pausing to admire the display on the treadmill that confirms that I have indeed jogged a mile and walked another one.
Still sweaty, I sneak a look at the TV to see how much time I have left before I see Ava again, and begin folding load two of Laundry Hell. I'm on my last towel, when I hear a voice in the living room that is definitely NOT Diego or Dora. I round the corner to discover, to my utter shock, a woman standing in the open front door, shoving our German Shepherd into the room.
I give her a blank stare, hear her mumble something about the dog being on the street and her wanting to be sure she got home safely, and shut the door as she retreats down the front walk. Wondering wildly why the front door had been opened, I get my answer as Ava says innocently, "Mommy, I opened the door because it was one of our neighbors!"
As all the thoughts of stranger danger, doggie road-kill, innocent toddlers and Did I Thank the Nice Lady? banged around in my head, I gently blew my nose again and looked at the clock.
It was only 10:30.
